Are you a perfectionist?

Do you find yourself driven by achievement, success and being right?  You may have grown up being encouraged not to make mistakes, take too many risks or be too playful.  If you’re starting to recognise yourself in this, perhaps you have noticed that this has led you to have high standards, sometimes higher standards than those around you.  Perhaps you are purposeful, reasonably logical and are very good at seeing the best way of achieving something?  All these traits have their place and can be such great strengths. 

But perhaps a note of caution is appropriate here, because if these traits become too strong, they can lead to controlling behaviours or putting goals ahead of people and that can lead to a perception of arrogance or aggressiveness.

If this is you, you may find it a bit stressful when you find yourself in a situation where you feel where you are obliged to work to a lower standard or take an illogical approach.  You probably won’t like others to be too emotional and you’ll certainly be upset if you fail to achieve your goals. 

Rest assured, you are not to blame.  It can certainly be worrying if you are asked to weaken one of your strengths.  In fact, all of us can be driven in this same way, but for those of you who recognise that this is you a lot of the time, I invite you to be perfect enough to show others that they can have standards without stress.

If you can’t find a good role model, be one.  Gale Anne Hurd