In memory of Edie Jane

Boiling over, reaching boiling point, making my blood boil!  These phrases are all in common use and they are all referring to when our emotions overflow and it’s likely that we end up behaving in a way that, after the event, we perhaps wish we hadn’t.  It all comes down to losing our composure.  And we’ve all experienced good days and bad days.  Those days when we seem to have endless patience and others when the slightest thing will set us off.

These phrases reminded me of the work of Edie Jane Eaton, a Canadian Therapist who talks in terms of candles.  Candles that sit underneath a bowl of water and the bowl of water represents our level of composure.  When only a few candles are lit we manage to keep it together.  As more candles are lit, the temperature can go up past boiling point.  And when candles keep burning, no matter how small they are, the water stays constantly warm and can quickly come to boiling point.

So today I’d like to invite you to think about what those candles might be for you that could be burning under your ‘bowl of water’, under your composure.  Is it perhaps that you are struggling to understand something?  Are you up against a tight deadline?  Are you aching, sore or carrying some form of physical tension?  Is someone annoying you?  And if they are by how much and in what way?   Was a shop assistant rude?  Maybe your internet connection is too slow?  Did you get a cold caller on the phone as you were about to leave the house?  Maybe you left a tissue in a pocket and put it in the washing machine by mistake?  Or maybe the weather is too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy?  Whatever your candles are today, think about whether they are little tiny tealights, average sized and shaped, extra large church candles with three or more wicks.  And how long have they been burning?  How many are ongoing?  And which ones could you actually put out right now or at least by the end of the day? 

So, in Edie Jane’s own words: “Even the small candles have considerable influence. Taking the time to identify and extinguish as many as possible can make all the difference.”