Woulda, shoulda, coulda.

Pressure is an interesting phenomenon.  And often we can presume that pressure is something from outside, something that’s applied TO us.  Something that we should be resilient against.  Like a rubber band being stretched.  We must be sure that we don’t break.  There are lots of coping strategies that we could turn to and if current trends continue then really, we’ve got to take action.

I don’t know about you but I’m already feeling more pressured than I was before!  And I haven’t even talked about anything that CAUSES pressure, just pressure!  The reason?  Well I’ve actually increased the feeling of being pressured just by the words I’ve been using.  Must, Should, Could, Got to.  These words accidently close us down, leave us feeling we have no choices and there is little that’s more pressurised than saying “I had no choice”. 

So today, I’m going to invite you to start to notice how much you use those words: MUST, SHOULD, COULD, GOT TO.  And when you notice yourself about to say any of them, use the word CHOOSE or COULD instead.  It makes so much difference.  Compare these:

I should go straight home and starting cooking dinner.

and

I choose to go straight home and start cooking dinner.

They even sound different.  There’s an urgency with ‘should’ and a ‘calmness’ about choose.

So today.  Remember what Rita Barnes tells us: “Choose your words carefully. Words are weapons that can either be used against you, or for you.”